My dear mother was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney disease in 2015. But it wasn’t until 2019 when she had to start dialysis. What is the journey like since diagnosis to starting dialysis? It seemed as if it was harder on me than my mom, just because I knew I was going to be the caretaker for her. But that was not true at all. My mom is the true hero. I must say though that the most difficult thing for me was not being able to control the feelings that my mom was going through. The best that we could do was try to keep her mind off of sad things and comfort her. The rest was really up to her. The process of acceptance was not easy but my mom did an amazing job. There wasn’t a moment when she resisted or questioned the doctor’s plans. I can sense the fear in her, but she did not exhibit the fear at all. I love her.
Day Before Catheter Surgery
I have prepared for this for four years. The time has come. Tomorrow will be the day when my mom could no longer travel overseas. The day when my mother will depend on me for the rest of her life, every night. I remember it was a quiet and sad day for me. I knew more of what this means for our lives than my mom did. I tried my best to plan for the day and do things that would be normal now as I know things will change forever after today. I took the day off work while the kids were in school and my husband away at work. I took my mom for a very long drive around town, especially to places we used to go all the time. I told her to just relax. We had some nice music in the background, and I was glad that she expressed her enjoyment. But on the way back home, she fell asleep. I remember looking over to her who was just super tired from all the anxiety built up. Not just for tomorrow’s surgery, but for the past four years. I then remember looking out the car window which overlooked from a hill top of very nice houses as we were driving through an over pass. I just silently felt bad…but at the same time, accepting the reality. I even thought about my dad for a bit, and that moment just gave me a lot more courage to take on one of the biggest responsibilities of being the caretaker for my mom for the rest of her life.
When we returned home, we started the prep work for the surgery tomorrow morning.
